I feel your pain. It can be very hard to cut through all the options when you can't try before you buy. No amount of reading reviews and specs, or YouTube videos takes the place of hearing yourself play through something with your own guitar.

Yes, you are right that a lot of different elements are needed to get the sound right. Even my clean sound has a lot of processing (buffer, light gain, light post-gain compression, reverb, amp, cab sim). That's one thing I like about lunchbox amps like my THR10C. It has all the basic elements built in - 8 amp sims, 5 cabinet speaker sims, reverb, plus the option of delay, phaser, flanger, chorus, compressor, noise gate. And I can mix and match. I tend to use the Blues Jr amp sim with the Bluesbreaker 2x12 cab sim. It makes it richer to my ears than the Fender 1x12 cab options.

Are there any online vendors with a good return policy? That might give you the safety net you need.