You got it right mate. I wipe against the grain. The coats I apply are extremely thin and, as much as possible, I just wipe up to the fret. I have used this technique now on quite a few guitars without a problem. In truth it doesn't look quite as good as it appears in the photo but all my guitars get played quite regularly and maple fretboards "gunk up" fairly quickly compared to Rosewood so it really doesn't matter.
Any little wipes of Poly/Tru-Oil that get on the frets are soon scraped off when the guitar is played. If you are really particular, after the Poly/Tru-Oil has cured just use a fretboard protector and buff the frets with 0000 steel wool.
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