Yeah, I get the irony! The good thing is if the pickguard gets scratched up, you can repaint it!Seems a bit weird worrying about scratch protection on a scratch plate, but hey.
Here's a can of black gloss a lot cheaper than I paid for my cans - https://www.caswellplating.com.au/st...c-gloss-black-
That price is better than what I paid too. It has become more widely available here in recent years and I suppose that affects the pricing.
FWIW, I recently used SCA Acrylic spray paint (also suitable on plastics - like bumpers) with good results. I just used White Knight Acrylic Clear over it, again with good results and no compatibility issues. I had a full set of Fender Vintage Noiseless pickups that had two black covers, and one aged white. I now have three black! (and they match really well!)