I've just come across this YouTube channel with lots of tips on soldering. It's mainly for PCBs, but the lessons taught can be applied to most soldering tasks. Warning - strong east-London accent with lots of dropped 'g's at the end of words.

https://www.youtube.com/@mrsolderfix3996

This one on de-soldering was a definite revelation.

What got to me was how easy everything went with a hot iron and the application of some liquid flux. So I'm eagerly waiting for my liquid flux to arrive to see if it does make a big difference. There are various types of flux available, so I'd look for the "no-clean" type. It doesn't mean that there's nothing there to clean up afterwards (as there is), but you don't have to clean it up. Some fluxes are acidic and if left behind, will eat away at the copper.