For better or worse what I have found to work best is this in the pic. I cut a small block of relatively hard EPS foam, and used it as a sanding block. Works much better with the mesh than the big foam block it came with. The nice thing about the mesh is that it is more clump/clog resistant then the sandpaper. I have been using 120 grit, but it does not seem equivalent to 120 conventional sandpaper, it's more like 150 or 180. I have also had decent results with Dura Gold 150 grit. It clogged quickly with the ROS sander, but works reasonably well and doesn't clog or ball-up nearly as fast with the foam sanding block.
I will most likely go over the whole thing with 220 grit when I finish to prep for new paint. I could probably have saved an hour or two if I had started with the combination of sanding mesh and sandpaper I am using now.
BTW most of the remaining red on the pic in the post above is stain rather than paint. I tried staining and failed at that, before I put on primer and paint which never got really hard. I'm not worrying too much if there's some leftover stain. I'll use a coat of shellac over that to make sure it doesn't react with whatever comes next ;-)