I've taken on board all of your suggestions and thoughts. Makes sense.
At this stage I'm going to go back, give everything another really good sanding and then have another go - you've kinda given my licence to do what I was wanting to do (ie several lighter, runnier applications). That approach resonates with me and I have no problem with having to do the process several times. Sandpaper is cheap and elbow grease is plentiful.