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What is the difference between a 4 String Banjo and a 5 String Banjo?
It takes about a minute longer to burn the 5 string...
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haha nice one Rabbitz, I'm sure DB will enjoy that joke.
Nice work putting all the spaces in the punchline so you couldn't read it from the activity page.
On the plus side the 5 string would keep you warmer a bit longer was almost zero degrees this morning in southern parts of Perth
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Here's a good one for you:
A guitarist dies and goes to heaven,he arrives at the pearly gates and is greeted by St Peter,he tells St Peter what he did during his life, St Peter says with a smile "Oh you are just going to love it here,Jimi Hendrix and alot of other famous musicians are here,we have non-stop jam sessions,rooms with every guitar,amp,and stompbox you could ever want,so go ahead and make yourself at home".
The guitarist goes into a room,picks up a guitar,and is just about to plug in when he hears some neo-classical shreading coming from another room,he puts the gutar down and goes back to St Peter,he asks St Peter... "Is Yngwie here?",St Peter looks at the guitarist and says ""Sorry,I don't remember him arriving".
The guitarist goes back to the room,he is about to plug into an amp when he hears some more neo-classical shredding,this time at a faster tempo,he goes back to St Peter and says, "Are you sure Yngwie isn't here? ",St Peter looks through the entries in his book and looks at the guitarist with a frown... "Sorry,he's not listed anywhere in my book,perhaps it is someone else you heard".
The guitarist goes back to the room,and is about to plug in when he hears the familliar strains of "Black Star" played very fast coming from the other room,he puts the guitar down and goes back to St Peter,"Listen,St Peter,I know what I heard and if it isn't Yngwie,who is it?",St Peter rolls his eyes and whispers in the guitarist's ear,"That person you heard is god,he thinks he's Yngwie".
Q,How do you make a vocalist sound like a chainsaw?
A,Just add vibrato....
Q,What's the difference between a drummer and a pizza?
A,A pizza feeds a family of four.
Musician jokes
Q: How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Twenty. 1 to do it and the other 19 to stand around and say, "I can do that!"
Q: What do you get if Bach falls off a horse, but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?
A: Bach in the saddle again.
Q: How many bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two. One to screw it in, and one to complain that it's electrified.
Q: How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Twenty. 1 to hold the bulb, 2 to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
Q: How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Seven; one to change and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
Q: Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?
A: Because he's Haydn!
Q: What's musical and handy in a supermarket?
A: A Chopin Liszt.
Q: What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?
A: A pair of Re-bachs.
Q: What do you call a male quartet?
A: Three men and a tenor.
Where are we?
Fritz Kriesler and Rachmaninov had a recital in Carnegie Hall once. In the middle of the music, Kriesler got lost and turned around to ask Rachmaninov, "Where are we?"
Rachmaninov said, "Carnegie Hall, sir!"
What's that sound?
A tourist is sightseeing in a European city. She comes upon the tomb of Beethoven, and begins reading the commerative plaque, only to be distracted by a low scratching noise, as if something was rubbing against a piece of paper.
She collars a passing native and asks what the scratching sound is.
The local person replies, "Oh, that is Beethoven. He's decomposing."
Arriving in Heaven
Three men die and go to heaven and queue to meet St. Peter.
St. Peter: Hi, what's your name?
Paul: My name is Paul.
St. Peter: Hi, Paul. Tell me, when you died, how much were you earning?
Paul: 120K.
St. Peter: Wow! Tell me, Paul, what were you doing to earn that kind of money?
Paul: I was a lawyer.
St. Peter: That's great. Come on in. St. Peter then turned to the second man. Hi, what's your name?
Roger: My name is Roger.
St. Peter: Hi, Roger. Tell me, when you died, how much were you earning?
Roger: 60K.
St. Peter: Hey, that's great! Tell me, Roger:, what did you do for a living?
Roger: I was an accountant.
St. Peter: That's very good. Come on in. St. Peter then turned to the second man. Hi, what's your name?
John: My name is John.
St. Peter: Hi, John. Tell me, John, how much were you earning when you died?
John: About $23,000.
St. Peter: Hey, that's fantastic, John! Tell me, what instrument did you play?
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Another St Peter joke:
St P: "Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven- please state your earthly occupation upon approach."
Dead Guy 1: "I was a surgeon. I saved hundreds of lives and often gave my time for free."
St P: "You may pass through the Gates to recieve your reward. Welcome."
Dead Guy 2: "I was a teacher for 30 years. Many of my students went on to achieve greatness"
St P: "You may pass through the Gates to recieve your reward. Welcome."
Dead Guy 3: "I was a trombonist in a jazz band"
St P: "Alright- you go round the back to the service entrance, down the stairs, through the kitchen...."
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haha nice one BG, the St Poida jokes are flowing today !
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How many lead singers does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one. They just stand there and hold it and expects the whole world to revolve around them
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good one Rob good to hear from you on the forum, been a while. You need another build mate !
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Hey Warren, yeah its been a while. The Black Dog is back unfortunately. I've tried to keep myself busy with a few home reno's but as soon as I finish them its back so I've been trying to do a bit of recording to keep myself occupied.
Now, I'm sick of listening to the same thing over and over about a thousand times. lol. Every time I think its ready to put away I think I can improve a bit more. Its just a 4 chord "vamp" that I've put some rubbish lead over but its getting me to learn all about the recording process which is doing my head in at present, but lots of fun all the same.
I have started thinking about another build but getting the motivation to start is turning out to be harder than I thought. The reno's have drained the coffers somewhat so I will have to wait until next month to start ordering all the bits and pieces.
