Are you getting any sound at all in any position?
The jack was my first thought too. A Switchcraft jack of that type has one lug slightly short to identify the hot/tip, but it's not so easy to tell on the stock jack. If you don't have a multimeter to test it with just try connecting the output to the other lug on the jack instead.
The other thing is the switch. The diagram is for an 8 lug 5-way with the two middle lugs being the 'commons' for each side (or pole) of the switch, hence the loop of wire linking them. Your switch appears to be a 7 lug 5-way, which is what the factory seems to use now, and this just has a single 'common' lug in the middle with 3 three lugs each side of it. This means you just have to connect the output to the middle lug and you don't need the wire loop at all.
(Edit: I should add that the extra wire loop wouldn't be stopping the sound in this case)